ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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