nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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