A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize