I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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