he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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