Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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