He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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