last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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