do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Enjoy the penises
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
