We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
