is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
