We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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