found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
