I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
