Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
