i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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