I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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