I love black thongs
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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