Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
