There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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