Me too!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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