all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
