i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
