6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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