I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
