before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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