he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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