I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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