I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
