sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
