I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
