You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
