I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
