I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
