i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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