My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just cropdusted the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize