what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
