Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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