Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
