so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
