The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
then he tried to convert me to islam
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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