if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
