Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
