She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
