At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
