my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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