32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
