Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
