So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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