She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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