Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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