Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
