It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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