No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize