it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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