whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
