We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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