so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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