is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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