oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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