I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
