I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
